Shit!!!!! have I just become a…hypocrite


06/05/2007 by Siddiqui Fayesal

There are times when I try and figure out about the nature of the various things I do. I used to take pride in my idiosyncrasy. The way I saw things in the light of ethics. If I thought an act was wrong I never camouflaged it and tried to justify it… agreed, its not that I always did the right thing but at least I knew that I was wrong and agreed when people pointed it out to me. Was I being a hypocrite, I started wondering…

I mean, yes, I knew I was wrong but I still did all those things that I always did. So yes, I was a hypocrite…an example will be a good idea at this juncture…The traffic signal. I never broke signals and always looked down upon people who broke them. Until I realized that I was never in a hurry while I was waiting ‘behind the stop line’ while guys kept honking behind my back and to my utter annoyance I also realized that I somehow broke them when I was in a hurry. I tried to curb this habit and I think I will succeed in it after a few months of hard work.

I only realized this some days back. I had 2 extra tickets for spider-man 3. One of my friends said that you can sell it in black and people will be ready to buy it even at 300 bucks. I said, “No dude, I wont be doing that at least.. I will sell it at the same price I bought it for myself and not for a buck more than that”. He asked me why was I being so stupid and not grabbing the opportunity of earning an extra 200 rupees. Very proud of my self , I said smugly, “well I don’t think that’s ethical”. This was what started the internal war between my mind and heart. He countered by saying, “what about the pirated books you buy from the streets. You are cheating aren’t you?”

The only thing I could come up with at the spur of the moment was,” Bro, no ones a complete angel just like no one is a complete devil. I have both inside me, living”. I got away by saying that. But I knew that winning in this verbal duel will not suffice. Now, I know not what I am. I hate hypocrites. But have I become one myself?

True, I cant afford the books original copy because they charge obscenely exorbitant prices. What is costing me 850 Rs cost me just 150 on the streets. Am I cheating??? Yes, I think I am. But does that mean that I stop reading books. Something that I cant live without.I swear by writers like W.H Auden, Premchand, Ted Huges, John Masefield, Alistair Maclean, James Patterson and the likes including of course the ever living soul in me William Shakespeare. The most number of books I have read are from the streets.

Does that mean that everytime I save a few penny I have to face the rising anger within me. Something I know is wrong but about which I cant do anything. Battling the odd mind with my heart. What is right then??? I cant run away from the truth… But I cant even deny the facts. I always believed that you cannot justify wrong deeds. I still do believe in that. Am I wrong??. Should I change the way I think. How else should I continue living. I see people living off scraps and I get to have a paratha at my thaal every Saturday. And I still cheat to get a little bit more out of my life.

Should I give up reading. I cant do that just like I cant give up this war between the interim body. I am scared. Have I really become a hypocrite??? I don’t see anyway out of this… Do you???

Is it alright to read pirated books and not break signals….. is it alright to demand 1 Rs back on the MRP of Rs 199….. is it right when I refuse to pay a penny more than the amount mentioned…. But then even they are making a living out of this extra 1 Rs aren’t they whereas I just fill my greed for books by cheating the rightful author of his royalty…. Am a confused??? Yes, I am……

11 thoughts on “Shit!!!!! have I just become a…hypocrite

  1. ¤Tee¤ says:

    hmmmmm…why only one post???write more!!and go visit my blog also when u have the time…saw ur pics…theyre damn nice ya…mom wants to paint them ehehe..take care!

  2. Ok..i've read the entire blog..well almost! in this one all i'd like 2 say is ..everything in the world ain't black or white. N u don't have 2 take lyf so seriously! I had a nice read. Nice writing..will ,look forward to more.

  3. Aamil says:

    I want to write a reply to this post. You have articulated your opinions very well. Thank you!

What say you???

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


  • 10,224 hits

Click! Click! Click!

Join 381 other followers

Jump to…


You will die the way you lived.

Aamil Shaheen

Delusions of grandeur

The Mundane

Finding the extraordinary in the ordinary.


...a whole buncha Tian'ness.


book reviews and more...

The Musing Quill

A Blog on Writing, Poetry, Short Stories and Books.


لفلسطين الحرية

Murphy's Law

Musings from a Literacy Coach

Literature Is My Porn

"She read books as one would breathe air, to fill up and live."

Three Magical

Welcome to the inside of my head.

Redeem the Thought

because thoughts become movements


Publishers of Fine Verse from India


"After all, tomorrow is another day."

Getting Loquacious

About life and everything else!


Bridge the Gap , Bring the Change

| Ramble On |

And now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song

Unbound Boxes Limping Gods

The writer gives life to a story, the reader keeps it alive.

Ashish Shakya

Writer. Stand-up comic. General idiot for hire.

schizophrenic dreams

It is Dark, and I like it that way...

necessary means

occasional outbursts on art, philosophy, and life


... well we're going to die anyway!

Pulp & Fiction

We all change when you think about it. We’re all different people, all through our lives, and that’s okay, that’s good. You gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be.

reading interrupted.

because reading also involves the way your head rests on your hand as you lean over a book, the damp mark you leave on a page when reading in the tub, or being interrupted by a

--- Grumpy Comments ---



Sharing knowledge benificial for duniya & akhira

Dad, the idiot

anchoring households for thousands of years

Yeha, Whatever.

(This blog looks boring, intentionally.)

My Musings

Simply Put....its a conglomeration of my thoughts as & when they occur

%d bloggers like this: