26/12/2011 by Siddiqui Fayesal
This is something else that I am mulling over. The characters I try and write about are obviously a part of me. Or, maybe just a tiny little facet of my personality. I dunno if I will ever use these characters in the proverbial book or will I ever look back at them. This is something personal, I’d say and also very symbolic. I hadn’t thought of pressing this but what the hell. It’s a personal space after all. I don’t know if people will get it. It’s very difficult. After all it is a part of a whole!
Anthem is another anagram, by the way.
I have always walked alone. I’m happy for the loneliness and solitude I’ve been granted. A whole week of post-its, phone calls and invitations; Its finally over! Enough of seeing the scantly clads air kissing one moment and character annihilating the next. To be left free is truly a gift. One does not appreciate its value.
Or, its beauty.
Maybe it’s because we are so used to doing nothing that we have willingly extinguished the light in us forever. We have forgotten what it feels like when our heart speaks to us. We wouldn’t recognise its call. We would gladly believe that we’re turning senile as we hear voices nudging us to take initiative, telling us off if we were to cross the red line. We have forgotten what self respect is. Oh! Of course we know “of” it but now we’ve given it a whole different kind of definition and direction. We have forgotten what being humble means. Now we throw our fists and shout profanities if one should mistakenly prod us the wrong way.
“It’s ok, sir”, has been replaced by “Can’t you fucking see?”
Where are those who upheld honour and said that honour resided within the grasps of our reach? Where are those so called heretics, who proclaimed loud that it is the woman who maketh a man? Nowadays we’re in a race against our allies. Or rather, our allies, our caskets of honour and self respect have taken up arms against us. They were our crutches, the support to our feeble legs.
That is what they were meant to be. How could they walk themselves? Prestige for us means prestige for them. But with extra power comes responsibility.
And when we abuse responsibility and assume ourselves to be a separate slice of heaven we cheat ourselves and vilify our ideals. The moment we align ourselves with the very spears with which we defended, we walk over to the Dark Side. Didn’t Lucifer proclaim victory by wronging himself? Once the very best he lost to a mere mortal.
I wonder what the world would’ve been if he had chosen otherwise. But after all, that was, perhaps, meant to be. Perhaps we were meant to be so characterless, so audaciously worthless and such culpable criminals.
Perhaps we were meant to be mute spectators while our women were raped.
Perhaps our women were meant to be enjoying the act. Perhaps we were meant to be so uncouth. Proclaiming victory with a nonchalant shrug. Perhaps we were meant to support bastards and rapist in large numbers and all the while the good just twiddled their thumbs and wriggled their ears, pretending that no one witnessed the insult. Perhaps the world was meant to create hell before Lord took over!
Perhaps disrespect was meant to be the norm.
Perhaps “freedom” was meant to evolve into, and have, detestable and shameful implications.
And, perhaps these implications were meant to be the holy world for the masses while the perpetrators enjoyed their own brand of “freedom”.
Alas! What will a lone gunman do against an army of liberated pests? An opaque point of view will not deter the sunlight, will it?
The gaoler feels not the pain and solitude of his prisoners while he sways and swings his baton from afar. The thuds and thwacks of his sceptre upon the bars are music to non but him. But, perhaps we were meant to be just an indistinct banter among the mighty Babel of unworthy philosophers.
Perhaps The Lord above will bring forth the end while we dream those lusty dreams of capture, of control, of ownership!