Brain Damage!


14/06/2012 by Siddiqui Fayesal

The new Cadbury Dairy Milk advert where the girl is practicing how to break the news of her pregnancy to her partner, what does it mean to tell us?

I use the ambiguous term “partner” as that’s the contention of my essay. Before you read ahead I’ll tell you a little bit about me.

I’m old school. My thoughts on the social scene and the moralistic scene would probably match, tangent to tangent, with my grandpa if we happened to discuss premarital sex or live ins! So here you are. This is a disclaimer which gives the reader absolute freedom to not read further because it might hurt their liberal conscience.

To make it less subtle and more obvious: I am a cave man when it comes to such things! I prefer to live by the laws of yester years where it was the rule rather than the exception to love and sleep with the same person who was also your faithful wife/husband.

Well, now that that’s out of the way I can continue my banter. The ad begins with the girl in question wondering about the perfect way to break the news of her pregnancy. Permutations and combinations come and go. One of them being:”Main tumhare bachhe ki maa banne wali hoon”

For those who don’t know Hindi (I have followers :smug:) it literally translates into “I’m pregnant with your child”

Now, with respect to the above quote the first thing that hits me is the word “tumhare” or “your”. The girl is young. Too young by today’s standards to be a wife. She doesn’t seem to be over 24. So, is it trying to actually tell us that the child is conceived before marriage? Probably yes.

I really don’t care about the number of people indulging in pre-marital coitus and I’m not even going to get into that. For one thing, I know I’m the last of the dying people who still stand by the ancient laws. Its not that I feel awkward and scared and embarrassed to take a stand against it. Its just that the sheer volume of people practising it is overwhelming.

To each his own.

But I can at least openly say I detest it, right? The practice. Not the people, mind it.

Please forgive us!

So, coming back to it I’d say that the ad unassumingly and very subtly makes a reference to the child being born out of wedlock. Now, the reason is far from moral. These capitalistic voyeurs don’t do anything with morality in mind. The reason, as I see it, is to make the said act more commonplace. To make it a little bit more acceptable to the Indian mind set. Why?

This would require a whole length book so, for the time being, let’s just say that the reason is the same which is used (abused?) when you start showing a kiss on the screen. It starts with a peck; goes on to a kiss and then it transforms into a 2 minute french kiss with a lot of tongue!

Then we liberate ourselves some more and give ourselves the gift of seeing people copulate on screen… And we call it a “Profession”!

People call it “Real” cinema and actors justify the act as “being shot aesthetically and that was important to the story line”. Yeah, important. Very. Without those scenes we’d never understand the story!!!

Maybe that’s what it is!!! These artistic people are trying to make us brain dead. So, what if they’re trying to do is something like this:

If we happen to see a movie which starts with the Hero and Heroine getting married and it zooms 3 years ahead and shows a new born son. As of now, I totally understand how that might’ve happened. Newly married couple and everything. Making love is something they’d do a lot! I get it. I know how the son was born. I can imagine the kind of ardour and love it requires.

Now, if the same thing happens in the very near future, and I’m assuming that these film makers and ad makers and any of these globalists succeed in their agenda, the transition from “A husband and a Wife” to “A Husband and a wife + A Son” will be so difficult to comprehend that they’d HAVE to HAVE to SEE it happen. Or else the most obvious reasoning met out by a brain dead ass would be something like this: “I think they just redeemed a coupon.”

I feel that these things done in measured dozes are meant to infiltrate the moral compass and corrupt our thoughts. That’s the way Globalisation works I guess. The core reasoning of making something bad more commonplace, more acceptable would be the straight forward “CONTROL” banter. Television has been called an idiot box since I first heard it in grade 5. Like Roald Dahl’s iconic Television describes it it’s obvious what its meant to do. It makes one weak and feeble. The poem clearly describes how it slows you down and how you become a zombie because of self induced coma.

It’s control. Simple? No?

Ok, look at it like this. You see someone bully your classmate at 7 in the morning of a sunny school day. You realise that the guy being beaten up is unfair so you step up. Or at least inform authorities. You do this once and call yourself a Hero, deservingly so. The next day you see the same goons at work and again do the nicest thing for the victim. But on day 3 its happening again. Again on day 4 and so on.

Cross your heart and ask yourself just how many times will you bother.




Maybe 10 times but then one day you will say “Balls” and walk off. It means that you’re sick and tired of doing what you did and rather ignore it.

In other words you get used to it. You get used to the particular goons to begin with. Then you get used to the victim being beaten up and finally you get used to the act itself. I know I sound radical and severe but that IS the fact. And when I mentioned that we’d do it “TEN” times i was being overly optimistic, wasn’t I? In today’s quick fix society it’d take a fraction of the time to get used to something… and also to ignore something like it doesn’t exist.

One day even incest would be commonplace if we do not use our own heads. Please, liberation and freedom is NOT being able to show your butt cracks in public. That is not the kind of world our forefathers envisaged!

I’ll wrap up by quoting another example I always quote. Its from the book Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk. He says with elan this:

“Experts in ancient Greek culture say that people back then didn’t see their thoughts as belonging to them. When ancient Greeks had a thought, it occurred to them as a god or goddess giving an order. Apollo was telling them to be brave. Athena was telling them to fall in love. Now people hear a commercial for sour cream potato chips and rush out to buy, but now they call this free will.”

Do we even know our past?

The legendary Goku has just one message for his grandson Goku Jr. in the DBZ movies: It wasn’t the dragonball Goku, it was your courage and love that opened the right doors. You did it by your self. I’m proud of you Grandson, stay pure, that’s your armour.


Siddiqui F

4 thoughts on “Brain Damage!

  1. Zaara says:

    Brilliant work dude ! I wonder how someone can think so much and write so much based on a 30 seconds advt 😉

    • Its staring at you like a mad bull, Zaara! Its daring you, double daring you to look underneath because they know people won’t bother. Oh its just an advert for crying out loud, they’ll say.

      But this is what they intended. Its disgusting to see what they’ve done to the women of today!

  2. amarllyis says:

    I disagree with you interpretation of the ad Fayesal. I don’t think they are unmarried. To me, they look like a young, married couple. Somehow, it instills in me that feeling that it’s okay to be married by 25 and have kids at 26. I really like the ad and she doesn’t look unmarried to me.

    As for the rest of the post, I do agree with you on many counts and I’m sure that shocks you! 😉

  3. Firstly, You’re right. It does surprise me:-D
    Secondly, I love the idea of getting married by 25!

    Now, the ad. See ordinarily even I would draw the conclusion that you’re drawing. And I’m not saying that I’m right, all I’m saying is that the way things are going isn’t it the most normal tendency of a person to draw the most cynical conclusion? Maybe the ad is actually about two married couples but with the way things are turning immoral and unethical its a possibility that I’m right!

    And, the ad was just a stepping stone to the article, which you liked! I’m glad!

    PS: I’m 25, by the way. I’m going out looking for a bride this minute:-p

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