5 signs that say you’re a closet Moron!

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28/07/2012 by Siddiqui Fayesal

Being a moron is one tough business, trust me! Tough, for the simple reason that there is fine line between rational introspection bordering on idiosyncratic behaviour which reflects the true You! Business, because you end up making a baboon of yourself anyway.

The funny part is that usually we don’t realise what big morons we are ourselves. We would like to believe that we fall in the idiosyncratic behaviour category but we don’t. I don’t even know that there exists something like that. Maybe we’re all Morons masquerading as intellectual BS, the kind of BS that falls flat on its face is besides the point!

We all love to think that we’re the smartest ass around! Unknowingly we turn out to be most stupid, most moronic, most tepid and insipid lot of the millions of lesser morons around us.

So read on and find out just where you fit in.

Trust me. We all do. Somewhere between ONE and FIVE each one of us would fit like a perfect bum on an arm chair.


You really accept the puke inducing crap the downtown shopping mall gives you in the name of discounts.

I mean a toaster for 1499.99 INR only! Really? No, really???


You were thrilled and happy when India won the world cup and then cried yourself in delight to an orgasm when Sachin was dropped 5 times in the Pakistan match.

Do I need to say something witty here, Einstein?


You dig your nose, adjust your undewear and scratch your crotch in public imagining no one would be interested in a nobody like yourself.

Everyone is interested in that kind of display pal. You weren’t half as interesting, though, until you began your cleaning ritual in public.


You introduce yourself to everyone as, “Hi, I’m CA Loser Forever”.

I had to include this one to stay true to myself. Nothing personal. Just business.


You utilise your time making lists like these and consider yourself witty and guffaw in delight but secretly glad that it doesn’t come with name tags!

To all of the morons that I know it is here I salute you. Without you my life wouldn’t be so interesting!

Siddiqui F.

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