True Lies

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19/04/2014 by Siddiqui Fayesal

I jogged my memory
To dig out one
Single event that
I knew didn’t exist.

But the forlorn look
On her face hurt me.
“I’ll try,” so I said.
But how long could
I keep the pretence?
How long could I
Cheat her when
I knew she awaited
My exclamation?

So I cried out
With haste
And alacrity!
“Oh hell, you’re right!”

I urged my lie to
Betray my eyes.
I forced a knowing
Smile to obey
My lie.

I ran my hands through
My hair to demonstrate
My mock frustration.
“How could I not remember
That night.”
I sounded sad, I’m sure.

She was understanding.
“You weren’t well,” she
Reasoned.
“It didn’t matter,” she
Said.

But matter it did.
It did to me.
I knew she
Wasn’t lying.

I could lie my way to her
Heart, I heard myself say.
My suppressed ego lashed
Out with a shallow Why.

I said aloud, “I
Also remember what we
Spoke of that night.
I remember how it ended.
I remember it all.”

She beamed and gave me
Her warmest hug.
She was easy to fool.
I knew her so well.

Little did I know
That she knew
Me better.

Little did I know
Her love for me
Was the ignorance
She feinted.

Maybe this
Was what
She planned.

Her warmth was
True and honest,
Despite my lies.

Maybe this was
Love. Love that
I had denied.

Siddiqui F.
(02.04.2014)

Note: The last 5 paragraphs were written on 18.04.2014 at Petit. The others on the 2nd of April, 2014 while walking along Marine Drive.

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