11/09/2014 by Siddiqui Fayesal
This is an extract of a conversation that took place last night at out Bookhad chatroom. There is Utkarsha, Sameen, Asim, Aroop and myself. The ladies weren’t very interested in The Sandwich Chronicles for some weird reason while the guys were very intent. Aroop couldn’t run the course; Asim gave up and I couldn’t manage a one sided conversation.
It began with an expletive aimed at a former employer of mine and it went on to… other stuff.
Siddiqui Fayesal: I feel sorry for your friend. I’ve worked in a thankless environment for bloody years. Bawa will be hated for ever.
Sameen Borker: Okay aroop
Siddiqui Fayesal: Shit. Long speech wasted! Oh. ok, It wasn’t long.
Sameen Borker: I’ll go cool off
Siddiqui Fayesal: Don’t cool off!
Sameen Borker: I could slap someone right now.
Siddiqui Fayesal: Write an effing hate poem! It comes out best at these times!
Aroop Sanyal: Yep I’ve worked with people whose party was drunken ramblings. I’m so glad I don’t work there anymore.
Siddiqui Fayesal: Shit! I worked at a place where there was no party. But I’m pretty much a loner so that works out just fine.
Utkarsha Kotian: What Bawa?
Siddiqui Fayesal: Utkarsha, are you saying that you don’t know stories of the place I did my internship from?
Utkarsha Kotian: Nope.
Siddiqui Fayesal: Wow! You and me suddenly have a lot to talk about.
Utkarsha Kotian: Sure, why not?
Siddiqui Fayesal: To begin with. Bawa was an asshole.
Aroop Sanyal: Which bawa?
Asim Mahmood: I was there. Tried to stop him. God I tried to stop him. But Faye had an inferiority complex because everyone else was working and he was not.
Utkarsha Kotian: Okay. Then
Asim Mahmood: But the prospect of working with two of his best mates was too much of a temptation.
Aroop Sanyal: Who is bawa but?
Asim Mahmood: That bastard didn’t give him holidays to study for CA. Bawa is the employer. 15 days was all he used to get and because of the change in rules by the institute Faye was stuck with him. Faye. It was meant to happen.
Aroop Sanyal: Ohhh so 15 days was all he had?
Asim Mahmood: When you look back God did everything to stop you. Yes. And he used to work full time. No time for himself. Those were sad days. I had only one friend. And even he got tangled with worldly matters.
Siddiqui Fayesal: Thanks a lot, my wing man! Those were sad days indeed.
Asim Mahmood: Yes yes. Stock audit on new years day!
Siddiqui Fayesal: Yeah. Like I would be partying if not working. I’d probably be sitting in a corner and reading a book, with a half eaten sandwich lying in a white plate forgotten.
Asim Mahmood: Mon. You lost the opportunity to claim solitude for yourself. Yes, yes. That’s what.
Siddiqui Fayesal: I’m sad about the half eaten sandwich though. How could I do it?
Aroop Sanyal: Precisely
Asim Mahmood: I don’t waste a good sandwich.
Aroop Sanyal: You could have picked a whole sandwich.
Asim Mahmood: Or, how about a sandwich which was supposed to be there on the plate but it wasn’t because you already had it. It brings me great sadness
Aroop Sanyal: Pseudo sandwich maybe?
Siddiqui Fayesal: Oh the irony! An empty stomach but a nonexistent sandwich.
Aroop Sanyal: You guys are at a party! I’m sure they have more sandwiches?
Siddiqui Fayesal: But it’s not the same sandwich which should’ve been in my plate.
Asim Mahmood: I always seem to think I had one less sandwich than I should’ve had.
Aroop Sanyal: I’ll have to agree with you on that one Faye. But considering you never really saw the sandwich how do you know which sandwich was meant to be for you? Maybe it was the one you got. Possibilities possibilities!
Utkarsha Kotian: I really have to believe you guys are high on something.
Siddiqui Fayesal: Yes. The sandwiches that I could’ve had, would’ve been better than what I did! It could’ve been something that I should’ve been at one with. One never would know about it at all. Ever.
Asim Mahmood: When I have a sandwich in front of me I don’t think of all the better sandwiches I could’ve had. Like I said there’s always room for one more.
Sameen Borker: What’s this. I like sit down dinners. When I have my house all of you are invited for sit down dinner or lunch or whatever.
Asim Mahmood: Thanks Sameen. Just make sure there are equal sandwiches for everyone. Sandwiches cannot be divided. But sandwiches can divide people.
Utkarsha Kotian: Enough
Siddiqui Fayesal: Yes. Especially if they are meant to be eaten together. The sandwiches feel pain and solitude too. To be eaten with having the brethren staying put in plates is something that should never happen.
Sameen Borker: No sandwiches
Asim Mahmood: And remember how I was glad to see Dawle fast asleep on top of the hill in neral. That ensured one sandwich for all awake.
Aroop Sanyal: Yeah I need to be a little high on something to continue beyond this point.
Asim Mahmood: Because up to that point I had only two things in mind. Fear of falling off the cliff and lesser sandwiches.
Siddiqui Fayesal: Yes. Although we cheated the poor guy of his sandwich. But then, again, who is to say which sandwich belonged to whom. Haven’t you learnt that it is the sandwich which chooses the glutton and not the other way around? If the people chose sandwiches then it would be unfair.
Asim Mahmood: It was predestined then. Thankfully. I was not guilty then. May be he was meant to sleep
Siddiqui Fayesal: Maybe he did it so we could share his sandwich. Hail Dawle for his sight!
Asim Mahmood: Impossible. No one can resist the temptation of having a sandwich. It was the sandwich’s will
Utkarsha Kotian: How I Met Your Mother anyone?
Siddiqui Fayesal: Perhaps. Perhaps you’re right. After all who is to question a sandwiches wish? Who but itself is it answerable to? Those who weep at the demise of a sandwich are ill informed indeed. They know not it was their will.
Sameen Borker: I could leave this group only because of this sandwich nonsense
Siddiqui Fayesal: You can’t leave the group. You made that rule. You also can’t ignore sandwiches! How could you? Especially the half eaten ones!
Asim Mahmood: Women don’t infatuate over a sandwich. It is the men. Women make them for their men and there is a good deal of love passing over that only a man can see. I shit you not.
Siddiqui Fayesal: Yes. Or else the sandwiches would only be eaten by them. How else would a sandwich reach you, I ask! When you make a sandwich, you don’t really make one. It’s the will of the sandwich all along.
***after around 20 minutes***
Siddiqui Fayesal: Umm… We’re done is it?
We were done apparently.
Utkarsha, I’m really wondering what the question regarding “How I Met Your Mother” was.
Sameen blogs at amarllyis.
Utkarsha spends some time at her blog, here
Aroop is a magician. He is available at different places. You need to holler aloud for him.
Asim. Well, if you DO find him, let me know.
Asim, Aroop, Utkarsha and Sameen are all an integral part of Bookhad. They were a part of the Interview series that you can read here.