Worrying Whispers

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01/11/2015 by Siddiqui Fayesal

My memories have started
To crumble and disappear.
Every bit of the relics of
My past that I possessed,
Of those old life I led, are
Beginning to break off and

They fear a reaction, perhaps.
They fear that their merely
‘Being’ would cause an

An avalanche of bitter sweet
Thoughts of old forming again
In my mind. Thoughts
Taking birth by association
And mere will of the heart.

Here, I have strand of hair
From one afternoon
Some four years ago.
If you see closely you’ll see
The exact date and place
From where it came.

See. Here is an empty
Crushed plastic bottle.
It is a memory of the time
When I traveled a day to
Spend some good time
And I bought you a cold

Look. Here is a smear
Of chocolate, that was wiped
clean when it dribbled

Here is a tissue with a poem
Written to accommodate
A loving request.

They are intact. But now
I fear for their presence.
This box full of bus tickets
And movie stubs; of
Restaurant bills and
Face tissues are now at

Seems the devils are at
Peace so it’s easier to cleave my soul
From my life’s early

Their will marched against
My feeble attempt to save
A Shard, a fragment so I
Could reminisce in
My days to come.

Their war cries resound
In my ears as somehow
I burn  away a part of my
memory with my own

Their war cries break and
Shatter a fragile memory that
I had kept away from
Arms length.

They decide.

They execute.

I lie awake at night,
Scared of the dawn,
Wondering which one will
Meet the end before
I’m up from the dark.

I fear sleep knowing that
I’ll not know what I’ve
Missed if I fall to
the stupor of

The dreams I have are
Not bloody; I dream
Of life and the meek’s

I wake up to my life the
Next dawn.

Bloody strife and mayhem
Rules; ghosts of the
past hover around, like
Half remembered dreams;
Sentinels sent by the Gods
To smear my wounds
With pain.

I see those ghosts walk
Around, dead but not gone.
I see what the night stole
From me.

Gone but not all.

Siddiqui F.

NB:  Everything but the last 5 paragraphs was written at Petit on 19.03.2015. The remainder was finished at Petit on 24.03.2015.

Before posting in today I made some changes to the tone. This is the first time I am not putting up what exactly those changes were. Maybe I’ll note them down elsewhere.

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