10/03/2016 by Siddiqui Fayesal
I looked at her with a casual calm air of a poor person surveying an expensive piece of silverware; nonchalance etched on the face, but jittery nerves playing havoc on the inside.
She, on her part, played the perfect role of silverware being stared at. She stood looking at me without batting an eye. She was one of those really exquisitely carved silver lazy susan that doesn’t give a damn upon whose table she sat on.
She sat because she could.
Her immovable and blank demeanour surprised me a little.
I mean, I’ve never been stared at. Yeah, not even by a lazy susan.
Now that I read her intentions, I was planning to approach her as soon as she blinked and gave me the tiniest sign that this susan was, in fact, alive. It’s a safe sign of approval, if there ever was meant to be one.
There! Right there. She blinked. Hell yeah! Did you see that, eh?
What the heck, man! How am I to be sure? What, like wait for another blink? Damn it!
Well, yeah arse-hole, she did see me. I’ll wait for her to go another round just to shove it in your face!
Don’t call her that, man! A Frisbee hanging in the air? Nice. Real classy, man. I see you doing just great. Maintain the status quo and all, mate. Just great.
No. I don’t really ‘care’ care. I mean look at her! She’s just like a gawd damned bit of dung attracting all the flies and all, you know? See, that’s the 4th random guy who just approached her. I don’t really care about that kind of a woman. I like myself a lady, you know, if you know what I mean and all. Someone who is real class instead of someone like her type. The ‘oh-don’t-you-dare-look-up-my-skirt’ flirt, are the ones I hate on principal, man.
What? That? Oh. That was just killing time, man. What’s a guy to do when he’s at a place like this, you know. Just hanging in there. I wouldn’t even bother a ‘hi’ to someone like her.
So. You tell me. What’s your day like? Interesting? Nice. Tell me all about it. I’ve got time.
(Boring and mundane shit)
(More boring and mundane shit)
(Even more boring and mundane shit)
Gotta go , man. She is doing that finger calling thing to me. I’ve got to go, man. Just wait you here and lemme get to work on the beauty. Don’t wait up.
(More awkward laughs)
(10 seconds later)
Let’s go man. I’m going to leave. Not much of a crowd, if you know what I mean.
Nah, she had nothing to say. Nothing much. Just some rancid laughter thing.
Forget it, man. Like I said. Not my kinds. A stupid stupid woman.
(Zips up fly and walks away)