Quote 8: Alexandra David-Neel

Leave a comment

03/11/2016 by Siddiqui Fayesal

I’ll take this by its horns. I usually don’t. I look for subterfuge to escape things so that I don’t have to make an assessment or a judgement call. At least till it’s not really imperative that I do.

My writing life has been the very definition of lackadaisical. These quotes that I work on? They were meant to be a part of the writing exercise, sort of like a voluntary prompt that would make me sit up and write like a madman. That was the plan initially. The first time I planned on working on these quotes was on 17.06.2014. I ACTUALLY began with Quote 1 on 03.08.2014. 

You do the math. If you want to read it (Really!) you can do so, here.

I’ve been working on my book for as far back as I can remember. I had begun right when I realized that I love the idea of writing. I picked up a notebook and began writing. It was okay for the first few pages. I was writing!

The conflict began when I couldn’t think of what to say. I was writing dialogues, and it sounded juvenile that my characters mostly spoke and there wasn’t much of a narrator.

I destroyed those pages. I never destroy completely, though. They’re still there. The point is that I believed I could do better. That was an honest thought, because those pages stank. Hillbilly dialogues, name calling, bad jokes, insipid structure and puke worthy characterizations. I had it all in the dozen or so pages. But, in my defense, I knew I could do better, so I began again from scratch.

I began again with an honest belief that I can do better. And better I did. I did become something that I wasn’t in those days; someone who can write something halfway decent. I filled pages and pages with notes and character back stories, with multiple plot lines and arcs that crisscrossed over my chosen universe with back flips and over-the-shoulder overtures.

I loved my storyline and plot and characters.

The funny part, though, was that after a few notebooks (notebooks now, not pages) I felt that my plot was going haywire, my characters lacked depth and my dialogues needed anti-depressants. I changed my tact; wrote newer characters, infused more narrations and breathed in them a little humour.

After a few weeks and after more notebooks, I felt the similar clawing in the back of my head, that my plots seemed stretched and my characters were delivering dialogues instead of speaking, like in a Victorian play.

My head was trying to kill me.

It’s been almost 9 years since I began writing that book and, though there was a long gap of around 3 to 4 years that I barely wrote a couple of pages or a few hundred words, nobody can take away the strong stench of failure from me. Nobody can really make the pain of failure, self induced failure at that, to go away. I have used evasive tactics and pseudo-literal devices to justify my actions, but at the end of the day, I know that they were nothing but diversionary excuses to prevent myself from doing the Real work; writing.

I pride myself in the fact that I have identified the biggest stonewall in the writing process. And that is, the “writing” part. I know it. I have professed this knowledge, acquired after deep meditation in my man cave, to all my friends who ask me questions about writing. I throw it around like a punch line.  I tell them casually, “You know what the most difficult part of writing is? It’s writing”, and proverbially pat myself on the back and bask in the glory of my wisdom.

But I knew all the time that I was nothing but a thug, a low life who spent his time pretending that he’s doing something worthwhile, and doing nothing. Instead of writing like a workman and slaving away with pen and paper, I simply changed the track of my story setting telling myself that it was for the better.

I was underselling myself like a coward. The worst kinds of men are the ones who convince themselves that they’re doing things right when they’re not.

Neglecting small things under the pretext of wanting to accomplish large ones is the excuse of a coward.

Siddiqui F.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


  • 11,037 hits

Click! Click! Click!

Join 234 other followers

Jump to…

One Point Six One Eight



You will die the way you lived.

Aamil Syed

altered reality

The Mundane

Finding poetry in the ordinary.


...a whole buncha Tian'ness.


book reviews and more...

Asha's Blog

A Rendezvous with the Beauty of Words

Get Out Harish

The world within three walls


لفلسطين الحرية

Murphy's Law

Musings from a Literacy Coach

Literature Is My Porn

"She read books as one would breathe air, to fill up and live."

Three Magical

Welcome to the inside of my head.

Scattered Brain

Musings about life and politics


Bridge the Gap , Bring the Change

| Ramble On |

And now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song

Unbound Boxes Limping Gods

The writer gives life to a story, the reader keeps it alive.

Ashish Shakya

Writer. Stand-Up Comic. Gulab Jamun Enthusiast.

schizophrenic dreams

It is Dark, and I like it that way...


... well we're going to die anyway!

Pulp & Fiction

We all change when you think about it. We’re all different people, all through our lives, and that’s okay, that’s good. You gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be.

reading interrupted.

because reading also involves the way your head rests on your hand as you lean over a book, the damp mark you leave on a page when reading in the tub, or being interrupted by a

--- Grumpy Comments ---



Sharing knowledge benificial for duniya & akhira

Dad, the idiot

anchoring households for thousands of years

Yeha, Whatever

I'll write it anyway.

My Musings

Simply Put....its a conglomeration of my thoughts as & when they occur

%d bloggers like this: