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09/09/2019 by Siddiqui Fayesal

I list items down,
and then manually
Alphabetise them.

Not convinced,
I filter them again.

This time based
On length.

I sigh.

Content with what
I achieved as I
Sat and laboured through

14 items;
3 starting  w
ith an S
And 2 with W’s.

My therapist asked me to 
‘Count my achievements
And to bask in it’s

One step at a time,
She said.

I pick up my phone
And decide whom to
Share this happiness with.

Of course, no details, but
I’d feel better if I spoke
To friends
‘With whom I shared moments
I loved to recollect’.

But those were moments,
I had protested.

The person was akin
To the walls of a cafe,
Or grains on a beach.

It was the coffee,
Or, the distant waves
I enjoyed.

Not the company.

Friends are integral,
She had maintained.

I scrolled pastS,
But couldn’t find anyone.

Compulsion pulled
At me. I grimaced and
decided on a classmate
I frequented the
College canteen with.

6 rings and I heaved a sigh.

No answer was good.

He was busy, or perhaps
The ringer was off.

But something
Nagged at me.

Would I answer,
If I saw his name flash?

A resounding No echoed
Which I forced to
Quieten down.

‘Do what you enjoy
Instead of something
You don’t’.


I list items down
And then manually
Alphabetise them.

Siddiqui F.
NB: At Home.


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