The Patriot


01/04/2011 by Siddiqui Fayesal

“Respected” (Little joke there. Tee hee hee) Miss Pandey,

Here is another patriotic Indian writing to you to acknowledge and, at the same time, hand over the proverbial crown of patriotism that, till recently, adorned the head of the entire nation. But after you came out clean about your possible “patriotic” act which shall follow our victory in the Finals of this World Cup, there was nothing else left to do but whip the thorny crown off our head and hand it to our Queen of Bare Essentials.

How else can we, the aam admi, counter such a move. We always had the ridiculous notion that patriotism resides in the hearts of the men and women who fight on the borders of India; who stake their lives so people like you and me survive and live comfortably. But you, rather bluntly, have shattered the myth. Patriotism lies only on the nude; on the skateboard smooth tummy, the rising and falling mounds of puberty; under the small fabric which we, out of sheer respect, call clothes. Patriotism lies beneath these worldly and materialistic desires. To be patriotic one needs to remove them. Like the old and the wise have time and again mentioned that life is a cycle. One needs to do something out of the ordinary to be able to free oneself from the cycle of being born again and again.

I think you, Miss Pandey, have found the most direct and attractive way of going straight to heaven. But wait, I am digressing. Sorry to take a more spiritual path while we were talking about patriotism. I apologise my most loyal and dedicated dame!

India won the match against Pakistan. We were happy. We all were happy. We felt tears of happiness stream down our faces. But YOU were the happiest, and you have proven it by agreeing to “show” us your patriotism. Since it lies under such deep covers it has been viewed VERY rarely. Once again the youth of this vast nation has taken the challenge of “showing” it to the whole world!!! Apologies again. I CANNOT dilute your noble act by saying “the youths”…it is only YOU, oh respected and revered of all beings!!!

But I think you will pave the way for more of the youths into being patriotic. What does the world know of patriotism? This is what the sages had foresaid before thou were even thought of. Long before you arrived to showcase us your patriotic act you were spoken of. They said that there will come a time when the villains and the repulsive beings will be most respected!

They said that the ways of the world works in mysterious ways. People who go hungry and work hard to support their loved ones are not spoken of. But at the same time people who lose their integrity, morality and respect are revered as open minded and liberated. The free media of the world gives miles and miles of leverage to such acts. Thou shalt burn in hell for eternity ma’am!

Murderers and killers and rapists kill people. People like you kill generations.

Subhash Chandra Bose said, “You give me blood, I will give you freedom”. Miss Bitchy Bitch has proven it wrong. Give me Cash or Publicity & will give you a peek under my G-String” is the new mantra!!!

God!!! Should I procreate… ever!!!

4 thoughts on “The Patriot

  1. amarllyis says:

    Don’t worry about procreation! It’s how you bring up your kids that makes them what they are.

  2. I’ve stopped counting the number of times i’ve told you this thing:-p

  3. For once I wouldn’t blame the media. Let me explain. In a newspaper there are several headlines, but one kind of reads only what they are interested in. And media wants to sell you the news and there is a dedicated market research team just to gauge where and what are your interests.

    It’s funny how we always want aam junta to be considered as innocent, naïve simpletons. They are not. Correction, we are not.
    If dog bites a man it is an event, if a man bites a dog it is news (Sadly not in china though where it is a delicacy). No I am not being racist here (

    Now I the concept of going Dutch is not at all alien to sports. They are called streakers( kind of exhibitionism. I find this to be a bit ludicrous when people say that such wanton acts are an omen for apocalypse (moral) or that such women would be considered as a symbol for our country.

    She has achieved her 5 minutes of fame. Let her go, let’s hope vikram bhatt or madhur bhandarkar don’t find a story in this one and try to cash on it.

  4. thats a fair view i’d say. Yes we are not naive simpletons. yes we are our own worst enemies. but i wasnt talking about that. i was talking about the lady (really???) herself. What makes a person do something like this. I’m not talking about vulgarity as in it being an eye sore. i’m talking of vulgarity as in it being immoral. it being corrupting. it being unethical.

    yes we all say it time and again things like “Live by ones own rule”; “i dictate my own terms” and “we are adults and can make our own decision”.

    NO. we have a social responsibility. yestersay it was a tease. today its 22 kissing sequences in an indian movie… tomorrow it will be full blown sex. In the name of “liberation of cinema”.

    Does omnipresence make the wrong a right?. No it doesnt. Poonam Pandey might’ve cracked an april Fools joke but in essense she has said something that resonates with a scary pitch.

    Yana Gupta “forgot” to wear her underpants at a childrens event for crying out loud… I rest:-p

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